Monday, August 16, 2010

I hate nights like this, nights when your brain refuses to shut off.
Nights when your eyes are fighting to stay closed.
Nights when you could swear you hear the conversation for blocks away because your ears are hypersensitive.

Nights like this make my brain spin and sometimes it gets going so fast that it seems like its in a blender with every thought I've ever had, spinning and chopping, and then its the frappe cycle.

Seems like there are so many things that I'm just waiting for.
Waiting to hear if I passed my board exam.
Waiting to send out invites.
Waiting to go search for a dress.
Waiting for the wedding.

And in between all these big waiting items are a million other things that seem to have me by the back of the neck waiting.  I'm waiting for sleep, for tomorrow, for the weekend, for the next weekend. 

Seems like I need to find the reset button on me, but they are always in that place that you can't seem to find.

Like that place in the middle of your back that you always get a itch on that you have to use the door jam or some other weird object to scratch. Maybe my model didnt come with one.

What if we could just push a reset button and things would speed up or backtrack to the way we want them to be, uncomplicated.

Sometimes I feel that I get so caught up in Jerrod and my life that I forget whats going on around us.  Sometimes we have so much planned that when I finally look up from what I was doing, its weeks past when we started. 

I never had the experience of love before Jerrod came into my life, and in a way I'm thankful.  I'm thankful that I never had to go through that heartbreak and to feel the hatred for the person who ripped my heart out. I have never felt that you need to experience that pain before you can truley appreciate love. That seems crazy to me. I need to hurt to feel better?  Who says.  Why not wait until you know its the right time and pour your whole self into someone and have them do the same and be a better person?  I almost think that if I would have had my heart broken it would have made my next love more difficult.  I am stubborn and guarded and if I would have lost that trust with someone so close, I think I would have built walls so high noone could ever climb them. But instead I was trusting, and open, and allowed myself to fall in love, completly with no safety net.  Its something I will never regret.

Sometimes I dream about what our future holds for us.
Sometimes I imagine our home 10 years down the road.
Filled with love and our children, with our pets running around while chickens peck at bugs in the gras and cows and steers roam our field.
Someday we'll have all this, but for now I'll settle for all we have. :)

Re-reading this, it doesnt make much sense.
good night everyone

xox f&a


Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Well its been a long time since i've posted..

Sometimes life just wraps you up and takes you into a whirlwind and you hardly notice that its been weeks since your feet were on the ground.

Lots has been happening, lately I have just been studying and working around the house to pass the time. I have 8 days till I take my practical exam whiich decides if I get to practice massage in the state of Oregon. I sure hope I pass, I am ready to have a job in a career I love, and to start saving up for our honeymoon. :)  Alaska here we come!

This time I think i'll work backwards in events, so here goes.

This weekend we went out to the Back to the 50's car shows.
Saturday we went to Jerrod's Gpa's 87th Bday out in medford and then went back to GP and met up with the fam+ grandma and then went and watched the classic car cruise.  There were some amazing cars and some not so sweet ones.  There were model T fords and alot of mustangs, there even was a gremlin.  There was a cadillac that must have been in the 2000s that someone just put a body kit on to look old, like they rounded all the edges. LAME-O .  I thought it was kinda weird to enter a car like that into a classic cruise, but owell not my problem.

After the cruise, Jerrod and I went out own way from the family, and we went and met up with a few of our friends and spent the night out on the town.  We went to the WonderBlur, and man oh man, can that bartender make some strong ass drinks.  I thought a safe drink would be a vodka cran add lime, and when he handed it to me, it literally wasnt even pink at all.  Haha. It was straight vodka!  I drank it half way down and had to ask for more cranberry juice, and all he did was laugh and said it was a common request, but hey, at least your getting your moneys worth right?
Hours later, and about 4 too many drinks, it was time to head home. Lets just say that Sunday wasnt the funnest day. :)

We just started getting some veggies to our garden. Lots of lemon cucumbers and burpless cucumbers. :)  We have more then we can handle it seems. 
We also have jalapenos coming out of our ears!  Now we are letting the plants fill up with peppers so I can can some. :) 

Our anahiems are finally filling out and are almost of the size to stuff and BBQ!
I think I am going to roast some jalapenos and anahiems and then skin 'em and can them, I think it would make a nice base for a chili verde. :)

AND last but not least, we have sooo many green tomatoes, we have more then a person could eat in a month, but none are ripe yet, there are a few romas that look like they are getting close. so lets just hope theat they hurry up,because jerrod is getting mighty anxious.

I will have to go out and take some pictures here soon, and show the size that my melons are getting. :) some are the size of a soccer ball. :) YUM

Till next time.